...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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