Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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