I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize