Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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