If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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