why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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