is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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