is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
wow bdsm is so cute
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize