Already got asked if we're dating
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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