dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
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Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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