Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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