my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize