I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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