another moral hangover. fuck.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize