Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize