you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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