just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize