Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Someone shit on the floor
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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