He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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