I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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