weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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