it wasn't lemon gatorade
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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