Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize