why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize