the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize