We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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