I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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