He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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