All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can Purell be used as lube?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize