he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
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I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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