she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize