she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize