So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize