i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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