i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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