Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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