I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize