i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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