Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize