and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize