Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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