It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize