I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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