the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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