Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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