may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize