i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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