Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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