Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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