This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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